Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Green mimosas i think yes
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
