apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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