what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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