I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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