For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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