I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
