Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
