I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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