i jhust puked up my retainher.
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Just high enough for therapy.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize
