Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
farters have to be the big spoon...
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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