Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Randomize
