she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
