He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
