I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
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