Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
