This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
