Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
