i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I just had sex on a roof
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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