Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
