the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
