You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
