We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
