Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Did you just see the Batmobile???
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Randomize
