i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
