Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
