K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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