this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Randomize
