He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
