Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
