You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
