when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
