She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
