the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
