drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
