what day is it and did you see me today?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
