I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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