he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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