I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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