her vagine was all disorganized.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
