She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
