My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
