What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
my shit smells like andre
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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