pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
