Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
