What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
how drunk are you?
Several
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
