i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
