Don't make out with my wife yet
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
