Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
