Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
