We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
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