He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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