Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Randomize
