I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
