Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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